


The Gang Pisses Off Locus

by locusdesperatus



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 12:39:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7845298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/locusdesperatus/pseuds/locusdesperatus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix is mad at Locus and takes out his frustration in a healthy and safe way</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gang Pisses Off Locus

Felix grumbled loudly, tugging off his armor as he shoved his way into his quarters. He was pissed. Locus had run back to his army without so much as a goodbye kiss or even an IM. Hell, Felix felt the other mercenary should've sent him correspondence via carrier pigeon at the very least. Locus’ new habit of ignoring Felix made for very, very bitter reunions. Even while they were in the field, it was all “don't look at me” and “don't come any closer or I'll shoot you in the throat”. What a goddamn douchebag.

  
“Motherfucking cock sucker.” Felix hissed, yanking off the last of his orange accented leg pieces and tossing them carelessly on the floor. He had made a habit of leaving his armor on the ground because it pissed off his partner. Who wasn't even here to appreciate his handiwork. “Douchebag cunt.” Felix spat, flopping dramatically onto Locus’ bed. He mussed up the sheets and pillows, getting comfy in his new nest. “Fucking asshole didn't even say goodbye.” Felix pouted. He buried his face in the blankets, silently fuming.

  
After a few minutes of picking angrily at some loose stitching on one of Locus’ blankets and creating a sizeable hole between the layers of fabric, Felix had an idea. Not a particularly sane idea, or one that would put him in Locus’ good graces, but definitely one that would sate his need for petty revenge. Sitting up faster than seemingly possibly, Felix grabbed one of Locus' pillows and carefully removed the pillowcase. He balled up the fabric, pressing it to his face. Inhaling sharply, he smiled widely at the scent.

  
Quick as greased lightning, Felix stripped off his bodysuit, yanking it comically away from where it clung to his legs. Now naked, he squirmed around in the blankets, making sure to rub his ass all over them. Petty revenge, his favorite. After finishing that endeavor, he got up to retrieve some lube and his favorite dildo from his footlocker. One of Felix's favorite memories was of the time he'd fucked himself on the huge toy while Locus had been sleeping beside him. The larger mercenary had tried to use a pillow to shield his ears, but Felix would bet his last $100 that he'd heard every bit of the show.

  
Now, Felix set the dildo down in the middle of the bed, drizzling lube onto his hand. He squirted the goopy substance everywhere, making a huge mess. It was much more fun that way. Felix impatiently pushed two fingers into himself, regretting it when he had to stop and force himself to relax. Some things couldn't be rushed, but Felix never realized that until he was up a creek without a paddle. Or two knuckles into his own ass and quickly running low on lubricant. The first euphemism was a little more succinct, he'd stick with that one.

  
Finally three fingers deep, Felix scissored his digits, letting out a pleased purr. With the addition of one more finger, he would be all set for phase two. He let out a crooked grin when he felt some lube drip onto the sheets, pleased with the chaos he was creating. No doubt, Locus was going to kill him, but it would be worth it just to see the look on his face when he realized what had gone down. Felix removed his fingers with a gross squelch, hips twitching a little. He wiggled a little, picking up the dildo. Placing it on the bed, he positioned himself over it before sinking down slowly.

  
“Ohh, fuck that's good.” He arched his back, keeping one hand on his lower back to steady himself. “Fuckin- why do I even need that asshole when I've got this thing.” He asked himself, moving one wrist to his mouth so he had something to bite down on. His sharp canines drew little pricks of blood as he finally settled down against the base of the toy. “Guh.” Felix gurgled around his arm, squeezing his eyes shut at the burn. He scratched at his thigh, leaving red marks where his nails dug into the muscle of his leg. Felix shifted slowly, gnawing on his skin to keep himself from making too many obscene noises. After all, it was no fun if Locus wasn't here to tell him to be quiet. He purred as he rocked back and forth on the toy, moving the hand in his mouth to stroke himself lewdly. When he'd worked himself up sufficiently, he got another wicked, wicked idea. Grabbing his tablet from where it rested on the bedside table. He opened the camera app, positioning it between his legs, making sure it had a clear view of his ass and his cocky grin. Snapping the photo, he rocked more slowly as he sent the photo to Locus, including the caption “I've been a bad boy ❤❤”. Now snickering, he dipped his hips low, interrupting his own giggles with a moan.

  
Finally getting close, Felix started becoming more erratic with his motions, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. Groaning at the taste, he stroked himself faster until he came, spraying white goop onto the pillow in front of him. Felix eased himself off the huge toy, kicking it aside. He carefully pulled Locus’ pillowcase back over the stuffing, snickering to himself at the mess he'd made. It would be a nice surprise for the bigger mercenary when he finally decided to show his face. Now finished with his devious plan, Felix traipsed over to his bed, curling up like a cat in the middle. He tucked himself in tightly, nestling into the plushy pillows he'd bought. He jumped a little as his tablet buzzed on the table beside him. Stretching like a cat, Felix grabbed it, grinning when he saw a notification from Locus.

  
“I was in a meeting with Doyle. He watched me open that.”

  
“Did he like it?” Felix laughed, trying to picture Locus’ face when he opened the explicit image in front of his general.

  
“I'm not sure. He was too flustered to continue the meeting.” Locus texted back.

  
“A pity.” Felix turned off his tablet, settling back into his nest. He huffed as exhaustion overwhelmed him, closing his eyes lazily as he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> locus-desperatus.tumblr.com


End file.
